Best for Babes

Take it from me:  we mothers find it very difficult to ask for help!   When my son was born, I found myself entertaining guests even though I had a grueling delivery, suffered from undiagnosed post-partum depression and could barely walk (I’ll spare you the gory details of why).  The fact that I could not articulate my needs or felt uncomfortable assigning specific tasks to my friends just worsened my already fragile state of mind.   Being in my late 30s and having enjoyed a successful career, I was used to being in control of my life, so the more my house became unkempt, and the less I was able to accomplish, the more I spiraled into a dark place.  Many moms today are living apart from their families and are extremely independent and self-sufficient, so bringing home baby and adjusting to the new realities as a family, including relying on others for help, can extra be challenging.  Not preparing properly (expecting? see our ultimate checklist) or not knowing how to ask for help is a big “Booby Trap!”

But there is a better way.   If you have read The Red Tent, or had the chance to live in or observe cultures that protect the mother-baby dyad, you will already know that taking care of the mother is the best way to take care of the baby.   Julie Hamilton, Mrs. Nashville 2010, a mother of 3 including exclusively breastfed twins (read how she did it) and a blogger at memoirsofabreastfeeder.wordpress.com knows just how important it is to ask for help, and worked with us to create a tool that can go a long way in making sure that a mother of a new baby is being cared for.   The best gift you can give any new mother is to nurture the nurterer! So yes, pick out that cute outfit for the new baby, but also make sure you sign up to deliver some TLC in the form of a meal, some grocery shopping, laundry folding or other errand.    Many moms need more help with tasks; having a clean & organized house makes it easier to relax, turn off the brain, and sleep when the baby sleeps.  Especially for breastfeeding moms, who need to master the learning curve of breastfeeding during the first few weeks, getting help can make or break her success.   If you are an experienced mom, then you already know just how welcome your efforts are.   If you are not a mom, then consider it part of the “what goes around comes around” cycle that will be paid back to you some day, in some form or another!  If you are expecting your first, it is the best internship you could have to learn the ropes.

Here are the new tools Julie developed with us.  Please let us know if you have suggestions to make them more useful to ALL moms who just had a baby.  As a non-profit our goal we rely on volunteers and feedback so we can provide more free resources to moms!

BfB Help Sheet: A  fill-in sheet to help new mothers or a mother of a new baby (baby #2, or #3, or #4 . . . ) enlist friends and family members to take care of errands and everyday household chores.    There is space to add other things you need help with.   Don’t be shy!   The point is to ensure your success as a new mother so these first few weeks can be as enjoyable and rewarding as possible.  If you are sunk in a pit of laundry, grocery shopping and cleaning up, you are no good to anyone.  Here’s how to use it:  Fill out one sheet for each friend.  Record who is doing what accordingly on the master sheet, and give the help sheet to the person assigned to the task(s).   If you have a home print/scan/copy machine, you can also make a copy of the help sheet to keep for yourself, if that makes it easier for you to keep track.

BfB Help Sheet–Master: This is a chart to help you keep track of who is doing what.   It is to be filled out by the mom, her partner or a friend or family member who is helping the mom every week.    Write the person’s name & phone number if necessary in the appropriate square, for example, “Amy S.: 212-999-9999″ in Dinner row, Tuesday column.  If you have a really super organized friend who wants to coordinate this, even better!  You may want to keep phone numbers of friends and relatives on a separate sheet that you can refer to, or that your partner, a relative or your best friend can use to contact anyone if there is a change in plans.  Put it on the fridge, by the phone or by your bedside where you know you will see it.

We’re also compiling a list of helpful information and best resources on the ‘net on this topic.  Any suggestions?  Let us know, and we’ll add it to this list!   All we ask is that the information be mom-friendly:  non-judgmental, evidence-based, positive and encouraging, and not undermining of breastfeeding moms.

Tips for New Moms from About.com by Robin Elise Weiss

10 Tips to Help You Cope with New Mom Exhaustion from ivillage.com

How to Help a New Mom from Ehow.com

Just Had a Baby?  A Six-Week Survival Guide from Fit Pregnancy

What did we miss?   How did you ask for help when you had a new baby?

Bear with me while I make an analogy between breastfeeding and fishing, and tell me if you think I’ve gone off the deep end.

There is an old saying:  “Give a man a fish, you feed him for a day; teach a man a fish, you feed him for a lifetime.”

It would be easy to apply that to breastfeeding:   “Give a newborn artificial baby milk, you feed him for a day; teach the baby’s mother to breastfeed, you feed, nurture and improve the health of both for a lifetime, so that mothers, babies, healthcare, employers, society and the planet benefit.”

Upon visiting this fishmarket in Catania, Sicily, I learned that aggressive industrial & commercial fishing threatens the livelihood of local, small-scale fishermen. It also destroys the breeding ground of the bluefin tuna, diminishes biodiversity and threatens the health of our planet.

But here’s the rub. What if it is not easy to teach a man to fish?   What if men have had the best intentions of fishing, only to go to the lake, and find that the fish have been depleted by aggressive practices, or the waters polluted, or signs and fences put up threatening anyone who tries to fish?   What if men were being told that fishing is great for them, and healthy too, but every day they are handed a bag of fast food which just seems so much easier than getting prepared for fishing, and putting in the time and effort to secure a good catch of fresh fish?  What if the teachers who are supposed to teach men to fish are being bought out to promote fast food, too, because while fishing has huge long-term advantages, it takes just a little more work, a little more support?   What if the few fishermen who succeeded in fishing, are heckled and jeered at?   How many fishermen then, do you think, will really survive this process?

It’s no different for breastfeeding. 74% of new moms have the desire to breastfeed, but given all the cultural and institutional barriers, i.e. “the booby traps” that we have written about, it is no wonder that so few mothers are learning how to breastfeed.   (For more about the “booby traps”, see our Moms Rising piece in response to Hannah Rosin, our Martin Luther King Day inspired post, and hey, we even wrote a song: The Twelve Breastfeeding Days of Christmas).

So that leaves the question.  What do we do? Do we continue to try to teach the man to fish, one man at a time, and leave him to fend for himself against the forces that threaten the fishing industry?  Do we continue to send mothers to support groups, or to get expert lactation counseling (if they can afford it), and stand by wringing our hands as they are being failed by the lack of a breastfeeding infrastructure, and are being undermined by barriers?   Do we continue to tell them the benefits of fishing breastfeeding, and heap pressure on them while allowing them to be threatened and suffer botched and negative breastfeeding experiences?  Do we wait for them to tell each other their horror stories–stories that did not need to be, most of which could have either been prevented or easily solved by preparation and early, proper lactation management–and discourage each other?  Do we stand by as more mothers are robbed of an exquisitely intimate and precious experience with their babies that is as instinctive as kissing the ones we love?

There is another way, the way of social entrepreneurship. Ashoka Founder Bill Drayton, once famously said that “social entrepreneurs are not content just to give a fish or teach how to fish. They will not rest until they have revolutionized the fishing industry.”

Social entrepreneurs are “change agents,”  creating “large-scale change through pattern-breaking ideas,”  “addressing the root causes” of social problems,  possessing “the ambition to create systemic change by introducing a new idea and persuading others to adopt it,”  and changing “the social systems that create and maintain” problems.  These types of transformative changes can be national or global. They can also often be highly localized—but no less powerful—in their impact. Most often, social entrepreneurs who create transformative changes combine innovative practices, deep and targeted knowledge of their social issue area, applied and cutting-edge research, and political savvy to reach their goals. For all entrepreneurs, whether in the business or social realm, innovation is not a one-time event—but continues over time.–Skoll Foundation

And that is precisely what the breastfeeding movement needs, and what Best for Babes aims to deliver:   the passion, drive, creativity and innovation needed to revolutionize the breastfeeding movement and make it the Mother of All Causes.  For this reason, we are going to be nominated for the prestigious Ashoka fellowship by a titan in the foundation world who believes that we fit the criteria of a social entrepreneur.   It is a ridiculous long shot (past nominees have gone on to win the Nobel prize, haha) and we’ll just be honored to be nominated.  Heck, we’ll just be excited to finish the draft application we started last year.

We need your help. These days, it takes a village to protect the mother so she can feed her baby; and we are building that village one volunteer, one advocate, one influencer, one donation at a time.   It is your involvement, and your commitment to us, that will determine whether we succeed or fail.   It is our collective collaboration that will determine whether we can bring together not only the 2% of women who made it to one year of breastfeeding exclusively (the “choir” most of us are preaching to) but the 72% of women–some three million every year–that try to breastfeed, and the billions more that wanted to breastfeed but were set up to fail.     Moreover, let’s bring in those who are affected by a society that doesn’t support breastfeeding; the spouses, the employers, the health care system, the schools . . . and take to the streets, like those marching under the other pink ribbon, and race for the cure literally under our nose.  Trust us, if we can get everyone past the destructive trio of pressure, judgment and guilt, and unite all who have been affected by “the booby traps,” our numbers will be greater than any other cause to date.  It’s time to harness that formidable energy.

Will you join us?   This year we have accomplished much to set this ball into motion–our innovative celebrity interviews and our groundbreaking ad campaign are gaining steam (80 blogs are now carrying it!).  We are getting our message and our CREDO out into the media (through incredible coverage in SHAPE and Fit Pregnancy magazines among others), and we are the first non-profit to change the conversation by shifting the pressure OFF moms and on to the barriers that keep them from achieving their personal goals.   Despite being “outsiders” to the medical/scientific world, we’ve won over the breastfeeding movement leadership (see left, we made the front page of an AAP newsletter!)– we brought down the house at the Academy of Breastfeeding Medicine, and we’re slated for the Healthy Children Conference and the United States Breastfeeding Committee Conference in January–trust us, our message will shake up the status quo.   We have jumped headfirst into social media, becoming one of the fastest growing breastfeeding causes on Facebook and one of the only breastfeeding non-profits that is blogging and is active on Twitter.  We have dazzled more potential corporate allies than we’ve been able to follow up with, and there is tremendous untapped opportunity here to follow in the footsteps of the great cause-related marketing campaigns.

Truthfully we’ve bitten off more than we can chew, and that is the curse of being passionately obsessed with social change:  we can see so clearly what needs to happen to help moms and raise breastfeeding rates that we tend to ignore our very human limitations of time and funding.   But that’s okay.  As much as we’d like to be the type that does one thing and one thing well, instead of the type that sets a bazillion things in motion, we know that it is more important right now to act as a catalyst to put a little rocket fuel under this cause and elevate it to the stature that it deserves.   There is much, much work to be done, but we know you will stand with us, shoulder to shoulder!

We look forward to an awesome 2010 with you!

CBS News did a wonderful segment that shows just how critical human milk is to premature infants.  Kudos to CBS for raising awareness of this important issue.  The video and accompanying article explain that only “45% of premature babies are going home on breastmilk, as compared to 74% of full-term babies”, marvel at the unknown powers of human milk, and emphasize the increased risk of deadly necrotizing enterocolitis in babies that are not breastfed.   At the UC Medical Center in San Diego, rates of necrotizing enterocolitis dropped from 5.8% to less than 1% after preemies started routinely receiving human milk. 

First, let me argue with the statistic a little bit.   While 74% of babies initiate breastfeeding in the hospital, it is not true that 74% go home on breastmilk. In fact, because hospitals have been shown to perform poorly on breastfeeding support, at some hospitals, only half that number is still breastfeeding at all at discharge, and the percentage that is exclusively breastfeeding is much lower.   So, along with great media coverage of hospitals that are moving in the right direction,  we need more media coverage of the hospital practices that are still sabotaging breastfeeding. 

It would also be great if the media could shed some light on why the March of Dimes’ March for Babies, whose mission is to improve the health of babies by preventing birth defects, premature births, and infant mortality, is being sponsored by Mead Johnson Nutritionals, makers of Enfamil, a brand of infant formula.   Doesn’t this seem like a horrible conflict of interest?  What message does that send?

And don’t tell me that March of Dimes is not aware.   Promom.org organized a letter-writing campaign back in 2005.    If CBS News or 60 minutes could do a little story on that, then I’d be really impressed!

By now you may have seen (and commented on) various responses to “The Case Against Breastfeeding” by Hannah Rosin in the April 2009 issue of Atlantic Monthly.  

You can read Best for Babes’ response on the Moms Rising website, and for a very good scientific rebuttal of Rosin’s article, read the blog by Tanya Lieberman, IBCLC.  Andi Silverman makes some good points, as do the Editors of a new book, “Unbuttoned,” that is coming out in April, and I’ve heard that several prominent M.D.s are working on responses as well.

Here is the American Academy of Pediatrics’ response:    

Letter to the Editor of The Atlantic (Submitted via email)

In the article, “The Case Against Breast-Feeding” by Hanna Rosin, the author skims the literature and has omitted many recent statements including the 2005 statement of the American Academy of Pediatrics which supports the value of breastfeeding for most infants. This policy references every statement with
scientific evidence from over 200 articles which meet scientific standards for accuracy and rigor. The statement was meticulously reviewed by the Section on Breastfeeding, the Committee on Nutrition and numerous other committees and approved by the Board of Directors of the Academy. Breastfeeding and Maternal and Infant Health Outcomes in Developed Countries, a study released by the Agency for Healthcare Research and Quality (the AHRQ Report) strongly supports the evidence of benefits demonstrated in the breastfeeding research. The evidence for the value of breastfeeding is scientific, it is strong, and it is
continually being reaffirmed by new research work.

The American Academy of Pediatrics encourages women to make an informed decision about feeding their infants based on scientifically established information from credible resources.

David T. Tayloe, Jr., MD, FAAP
President
American Academy of Pediatrics

As we mentioned in the blog on MomsRising, the AAP has no financial incentive to promote breastfeeding, the only motives that I can see here are to adhere to their mission and moral obligation, and retain the respect of the international medical, scientific and public health communities.   So I was thrilled when I heard that they wrote a letter to the Atlantic Monthly, and I am posting it so you can link to it easily as you respond to the different articles.   Go, AAP!

We also wish Rosin had seriously regarded this sentence from the AAP Policy Statement on Breastfeeding and the Use of Human Milk:

“Before advising against breastfeeding or recommending premature weaning, weigh the
benefits of breastfeeding against the risks of not receiving human milk.”

Let me just reiterate that Best for Babes believes no woman should be judged for her decision on how to feed her baby, and she deserves to have the best, evidence-based information to make and carry out that decision, free of undermining influences.

Lots of new breastfeeding moms have the burning question . . . can I drink (alcohol) even though I am breastfeeding?    Given that it’s New Year’s Eve, we thought it would be a fine time to give you the low-down on booze and boobs. 

Here’s the short answer:   Yes, absolutely!   And moderation is good for your mama mojo.

One of the reasons moms give up breastfeeding is because of the astounding myth that you can’t drink and breastfeed.  It’s obvious that this myth was set in motion to convince moms that breastfeeding was restrictive when clearly the opposite is true:   once you get the hang of it, breastfeeding is incredibly convenient and unrestrictive!  It boggles our minds that this myth really took hold and still lingers, considering that booze and breastfeeding have coexisted over the millenia.

So yes, you can have an occasional glass of wine, or a beer, or even a little nightcap and continue to nurse provided you don’t get drunk.  Here’s the shorthand for how to drink alcohol safely while breastfeeding:  

• The rule of thumb is that if you feel drunk, your milk will be drunk too.  Remember, although some moms may be able to handle 2 ounces of liquor, or 8 ounces of wine, or 2 cans of beer, every one’s tolerance is different.  Since most of you haven’t had a drink in about 9 months, you should go slow!   
• Ideally, breastfeed shortly before having a drink so you can give your blood alcohol level a chance to come down before nursing again.
• If you get a little carried away, feed your baby some stored breastmilk instead.  Your blood alcohol level will be present in your breastmilk, so, if you really overdid it, it might be a good idea to have a stash of frozen pumped breastmilk on hand to feed your baby.  If your boobs start to get uncomfortably full, you should pump and dump.  Don’t have a stash of frozen breast milk?   Here’s some big news: you are still better off nursing your baby!  In the Ultimate Breastfeeding Book of Answers, author and famed pediatrician Dr. Jack Newman is unequivocal: “the formula the baby would receive–while the mother is throwing away her milk because it has a tiny amount of alcohol in it–is known to put the baby at greater risk for a host of illnesses and problems.”  If you have further questions, talk to your breastfeeding-friendly pediatrician.  
• You can resume breastfeeding once you no longer feel drunk; as the alcohol level in your blood decreases, it will decrease in your breastmilk.     

The bottomline is that the risks of not breastfeeding are so large, that even if you drink, or smoke, or even get stoned on occasion, you and your baby are still better off breastfeeding.   We are not advocating any of those things, we are simply trying to keep you from chucking breastfeeding because you are afraid it will interfere with your lifestyle, or from enjoying a glass of wine.   Chronic drinking or smoking or drug use is another matter, and we urge you to get help if that is the case.   You owe it to yourself and your baby.

Okay, now on to having some fun!   We came across Gabby Reece’s Holiday Partying Tips and think they are awesome.   Not only does she give smart advice on how to avoid putting on extra calories, she also makes you feel like she’s your fellow mom-girlfriend who’s got your back.   The most important thing, whether you have a drink or not, or whether you go out or not, is to connect with the people you love, get your groove on, and shake your booty!  

Happy New Year to you, Babe!