Beating the Booby Traps with NonBooby Bonding Time

Happy Father’s Day!

Wait, this is a blog for breastfeeding moms, right?!

Of course!  But any Babe knows that partner support is so important to getting breastfeeding off to a great start.  In fact, there’s even research to back up what we already knew:  Dads make a difference when it comes to successful breastfeeding!

We’re setting out to honor and celebrate Dads this week and beat a big Booby Trap at the same time!  Many couples are afraid that if mom breastfeeds, dad won’t be able to bond with the baby.  But we know better!

A lot more than feeding goes in to loving, caring for, and bonding with newborns.  They need to be soothed, engaged with, diapered, bathed, and so on.  Dads can do ALL of those things!  Feeding is just one part of the bigger picture.

So, this Father’s Day, we’d like to introduce you to the many methods of achieving NonBooby Bonding!  Dad can be the:

Babywearing Man!

Bath Man!

Baby Soothing Man!

Diaper Changing Man!

A couple of very generous companies have joined Best for Babes as Corporate Friends, too, in order to celebrate Dads!  We’re excited to announce our new Friends and introduce  you to their products – products we know will help Dads bond with their little ones.  The best part?  We’ll be giving away three prize packs between June 20th and 28th on Facebook!

Sweet Knee:  Sweet Knee is a boutique skin care company created to address the need for getting back to nature with the use of certified organic herbs and flowers for young babies and children. Just think of calendula, marshmallow, plantain and chamomile. Yummy. We offer a line of essential products for children including cleansing, moisturizing and diaper care products with simply the best ingredients, and full disclosure on our labels so that you can decide what is best for your baby and your family. We never test our products on animals and purchase fair trade, organic and sustainable ingredients from reputable sources.

ERGObaby Carrier: ERGObaby is a family owned and operated company located on Maui, Hawaii. Since 2003, we have been providing parents with the most thoughtful, highest quality, and most innovative babywearing products and accessories found on the market. It is our mission to educate parents about attachment parenting, babywearing, and related topics, to improve the way our next generations of babies are introduced into the world. We are committed to excellent customer service, including immediate order response and friendly support of product use. We market the ERGObaby LifeStyle globally and have created an efficient team that is dedicated to reliability and serving our customers with integrity and a positive spirit.

In addition to each donating $500 to The Mother of All Causes, these awesome companies have also donated goodies for three prize packs!  Each prize pack will include Sweet Knee’s Petite Baby Bag and an ERGObaby Carrier!

How do you win?  This one’s for the Dads!  We want to see more Dads jumping into the discussion on Facebook and learning amazing facts about breastfeeding that they can use to help their Babes.  So, send Dads our way!

Here’s how to enter: (this step is mandatory!)

1.  Leave a comment on this post including your email address (so we can reach you if you win! Your info won’t be shared or or sold, it’s solely being used for the purposes of this giveaway). In the comment, tell us how you’ve supported your Babes or how you do NonBooby Bonding time.

Bonus entries!

2.  “Like” our page on Facebook. (You must do step 1 to enter; this is just a way to increase your chances of winning.)

3.  Go to our Facebook page and upload your best pics of NonBooby Bonding time!  Share your best pics of Dad giving baby a bath or wearing baby, and you could win!  One photo will will a Sweet Knee and ERGObaby prize pack!  (You must do step 1 to enter; this is just a way to increase your chances of winning.)

Any questions?  Email amy@bestforbabes.org.  The giveaway runs from June 20th-28th, midnight EST.  Winners will be chosen at random from the comments on this blog post (and a bonus winner will be chosen from the NonBooby Bonding Time photos, but will be referenced back to this post for entry verification.)

Many thanks to our awesome sponsors for helping us celebrate and honor dads this Father’s Day!



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131 Responses to Beating the Booby Traps with NonBooby Bonding Time

  1. Sami says:

    My husband initially did all the diaper changes to increase bonding. Since our initial breastfeeding relationship was rocky and was via pumped breastmilk he also gave a bottle regularly. Our son still loves being worn.

  2. Ashley B. says:

    I absolutely love breastfeeding! It’s been such a great bonding experience. Some of my other favorite bonding memories have been snuggling up during outings with my son in his Moby wrap. I love baby wearing and now that he’s a little older I think an Ergo would be a great option for us.

  3. Ashley B. says:

    I liked your facebook page.

  4. David says:

    There was never any doubt in my wife’s mind that she wanted to breastfeed our babies, and I supported her decision from the start. Once my daughter was born I encouraged my wife to continue, especially during the first few weeks at home. When my daughter was around 4 weeks old, she started to cluster feed and wanted to nurse what seemed like all the time. My wife was exhausted and emotional, and I kept telling her, “only you can do this, and you can do this!”

    My wife introduced me to baby wearing, and I love it. I feel very close to both my children because of it. For the first two years of her life, I wore my daughter almost everyday, and now I am doing the same with my young son. I have a lot of fathers ask me about my carrier and I always encourage them to get one–I couldn’t survive without it.

  5. Mike says:

    I supported my wife and new baby in the early days by helping to position pillows and fetching water. I love my nonbooby bonding time with son by giving him a bath every night.

    Arsshaw at gmail dot com

  6. Melinda says:

    One of my favorite bonding times is when I wear my baby girl in my ringsling. We get to have lots of eye contact with each other & I love sniffing the top of her sweet head. :)

  7. Leanne says:

    My husband is very pro-breastfeeding and often jokes that my nursing toddler will be doing so until she’s 8. She’s only 14 months now, but shows no signs of self-weaning any time soon.

    He’s also a big fan of ErgoBaby and loves wearing our oldest child (who is now almost 3)! We’re getting ready for vacation soon and I am sure I will battling over the Ergo with him now that we have two toddlers who love to be worn.

  8. nana canto says:

    my son and his son.. spend tons of time cuddling.. skin to skin.. and face to face.. nose to nose.. and chest to chest… but the skin to skin and holding as close to heartbeat is what makes this son’s son so calm… he is happy with daddy.. who totes me everywhere.. and could really use a product.. as although grandson number on.. will make a great football player some day… he is outgrowing the football hold… this happy healthy breast milk grown handsom boy… is out growing the football hold.. love nana c..

  9. Mike says:

    Liked you facebook. Should have already. The wife has liked you for some time.

    arsshaw at gmail dot com

  10. Mike says:

    Upload a pic of me babywearing my son/nonbooby bonding time. arsshaw at gmail dot com

  11. Nate says:

    Both my wife and I knew that breast feeding our baby was the best choice for him. I did my best to help during those first few weeks while they were getting their groove down. I was there to help listen to the lactation consultant at the hospital and did my best to help remind and readjust, bring pillows and water.
    They have now been successful for over 10 months and still going.

  12. Karen says:

    I made up my mind to BF my 1st child as soon as I knew I was expecting. My husband was supportive, but uneducated about BF (his first was formula fed). I educated him ans have been nursing for 5 months now. My step-daughter has become curious about a woman’s ability to nurse and when I spend time nursing my daughter I spend equal time talking and educating my step-daughter. I answer any questions she has. I can only hope by doing this, both my girls will grow up to nurse. And to boot….my husband has become an advocate for BF along with me!

  13. My husband did NonBooby bonding time by changing the newborn diapers while I laid in bed.

  14. Cara Cline says:

    My son was born via c-section and I was unconscious for the first two hours after he was born. My husband was able to give our son his first bath and bond with him those first few minutes after he was born and until I was recovered from surgery. I wasn’t able to change his diapers for the first two days because of my discomfort from surgery. This gave my husband whom had never changed a diaper before a fantastic opportunity to bond with him during those first few days when my son was only awake long enough to have a diaper change and eat. I was a bit jealous at first that he had those two special bonding periods that I was unable to have. However now I know my husband is jealous of all the hours our son and I get to spend together nursing. Even though my birth, delivery and postpartum time was difficult, I think it was so very important now that they had that special time together in the beginning.

  15. Ben says:

    I ‘liked’ BFB on facebook & uploaded a pic last week….
    I saved this comment for last though because I dread it.

    It kills me to admit, but I don’t do much toward ‘nonbooby time’. I work seemingly endless hours and honestly never imagined myself with a family. I love my wife and kids, though, and couldn’t imagine life without them. My wife and I followed the ‘correct’ order– marriage first, then kids– so I didn’t get forced into any of that… but for the first year or two of our kid’s lives, my wife is their world.

    She nurses them, cosleeps (on a couch because she thinks I’ll sleep better– but I don’t– I miss her in bed with me), cloth diapers– you name it and she does it. The photo I uploaded on the BFB facebook page is of me wearing our daughter, however it was only after my wife had been wearing her all day during our trip– and it was the first time I used the sling. When our son (now 5 months) was born, I actually left about 2 hours after he was born to go to work, worked the next day, and went in late on the day I brought them home. I’m not proud of it by any means, but in today’s economy I’m so glad to have a job and since she’s an at home mom our family relies solely on my income.

    I wanted to enter this contest in the hopes of getting my wife an Ergo. I saw that she ‘liked’ BFB and mentioned this contest to me, but I felt terrible when I realized I really didn’t have much to bring to the “all the million great things I do with our baby” contest.

    I will say, though, in my defense… I am trying. I switched jobs to one where I have 3 day weekends and don’t travel other than my commute– I spent the weekend renovating our living room while she took the kids 6 hours away to be in her friend’s wedding (and make the cake!). I am trying to find ways to spend time with our children doing things they enjoy… I’m not perfect, but thankfully she’s patient with me and is the most amazing mom any kid could want.

    • Bettina says:

      Thank you for being so honest, that took guts! My husband didn’t change diapers or wear the baby either but he did an awful lot of dishes! You are providing for your family so your wife can be the mother she wants to be which is awesome. I also think it is great that you have made changes to be home more. None of us is perfect and the most important quality is willingness. Some parents (including moms) hit their stride when the kids are a little older and they can do more things with them. In the meantime, one easy thing to do with your son is to let him nap on your chest skin to skin while you are reading a magazine or watching T.V. That is non-booby bonding time too!

      • Ben says:

        Thank you.

        It really is a struggle when my wife and I are around other couples with kids and those men scoop up the babies and change a diaper or calm them down and I just can’t (don’t?) do that for ours. I am not proud to admit that I can count the number of diapers I’ve changed in our years of marriage without borrowing fingers or toes, and that I am at a loss when it comes to all things baby. I appreciate my wife more than I can show, she does so much with so little (time, money, resources) and seems to anticipate every need of our children. She’s been strong through things I just can’t handle (our 3 year old had seizures and had to be restrained by my wife during tests– I left the room and sometimes didn’t even go in the first place).

        I appreciate your suggestions for bonding– I’m making an effort and she tells me I just need to relax, but it seems that when I hold the baby he just screams and is rarely comfortable (he has reflux which probably doesn’t help) and it’s all downhill once he starts to squirm. I am trying to help where I can, though, like you said by just being around more and since our middle daughter is 3 I can do bath time with her and am more comfortable taking her on my own now that she has weaned (when my wife was 7 months pregnant) and is potty trained. I’m getting there!

        • Bettina says:

          You sound like an awesome dude and role model to me. I didn’t want to breastfeed (though I ended up doing it, and then loving it), which is why I am often able to relate to women who struggle with it, and they feel comfortable opening up to me. In the same way you are setting a positive example for other dads who haven’t figured out how to bond more, and a screaming baby is definitely challenging! What I think is so great is how much you appreciate your wife . . . it seems like you are bringing out the best in her, and that is a very unique non-booby bonding way to strengthen your whole family!

    • Cara Cline says:

      Thank you, Ben!

      • Ben says:

        Thank you both. Bettina, I hadn’t really thought about the fact that just letting my wife be who she is and trusting her (with things like vaccine selection, using cloth diapers, or breastfeeding until our children wean themselves) is bonding/strengthening, but I guess I just wasn’t thinking outside the box.

        Last night I had some ‘non booby toddler time’ and took our 3 year old to home depot. We picked up Mommy some shelves she’s been wanting for her ‘cake room’ and surprised her with them.

        I had come back to the blog today because I realized that I put my email in the box when I comment, but that it might not ‘count’ and I saw your reply & Cara’s… so, thank you both.
        and–
        briggsbicc@gmail.com

  16. Joel Williams says:

    I have taken over care of our older children (ages 2 & 4) so my wife, who’s struggled with low-supply in the past, can focus on the demands of round-the-clock nursing of our newborn & building her supply. I wake up with them, make breakfast, get them dressed & off to camp. I make dinner, do bath, pj,s, read bedtime stories, sing lullabyes & tuck them in! And when she needs a break from the baby? I’m more than happy to jump right in and cuddle the baby, too! I’m also her “water boy” – I make sure she is eating & staying well-hydrated throughout the day because she has a tendancy to forget to eat & drink!

  17. savvy says:

    For both our kids my husband has been the go-to for calming down fussy babies. There is something about him… I can hand him a baby that even nursing won’t calm and within five minutes they will BOTH be napping soundly.

    My husband + baby = instant blissful sleep for both parties!

    We also bedshare, so both our kids have gotten to sleep between us in bed and it always seems that the early morning hours are daddy-time… they have nursed all night and now it’s time to do some serious snuggling!

  18. savvy says:

    oops, my email is emitch@gmail.com

  19. Mark Jones says:

    I liked your Facebook page.

    -Mark Jones
    valeriejones23@gmail.com

  20. Mark Jones says:

    I’m actually the one who requested a Baby Bjorn for my wife’s baby shower. I love carrying my two little ones around every time we go out. I also love that she breastfeeds.

  21. Mark Jones says:

    Forgot to write my email.

    valeriejones23@gmail.com

  22. Leslie says:

    Getting our daughter into my hubby’s hands takes some time as he’s always cooking or cleaning if not working. Buy once he has her he almost won’t give her back! BF woulnt be possible without his love and support!

  23. Dave says:

    I’ve “liked” your page and my wife uploaded a picture of me and tagged me in it (not sure if she needed to do the tagging though).

  24. Nate says:

    As far as NonBooby Bonding time, I get in as much as I can. My favorite part of the day is when I get to come home from work and see my son. It makes the whole long day at work and commuting worthwhile. I babywear our son out and about, but especially on hikes with our dogs. I love to sit on the floor and play and make up silly songs; anything that makes him laugh or smile. Also, when my son was first born I was more than happy to do skin to skin with him, finally my warm blooded self served a purpose! Now he is starting to eat some solids, in addition to nursing, I am able to sit and help him, as well as cook his finger foods. I have also done a lot of the diapering, I actually changed all the first diapers at the hospital!

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